25Feb 08
The Role of the Older Brother
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I was recently asked to share on the role of the older brother to a small group of fathers and sons. In spending time preparing, I began to realize how the following principles relate to every relationship where influence is exerted. How can our influence be more effective? What is the Lords view on this indispensable responsibility?
Each father and son took out a piece of paper and drew a circle which was to represent their sphere of influence (the small world around them). They quickly jotted down individuals and groups of people who are influenced by their actions. Next a flashlight was drawn with the reference Matthew 5:16 underneath. This is the light Christ shines through us upon our world of influence. Lastly, a line was drawn between the light and the world to represent the veils that refract and distort this Light. Specific veils were written in which included anger, lust, disobedience, fear, selfishness, foolishness, failure to stand alone, worldly ideals, carelessness, etc. Our response to offenses, free time, and peer pressure often manifest any veils that are blocking the Light of Christ in us.
In continuing with the theme of the older brothers role, it was pointed out that the family should be among our sphere of influence. Heart searching questions were then asked: Have you asked your Dad what his vision is for your family? Are you supporting the family vision? Do you resist having younger siblings copy you? Do you put your 
schedule ahead of the needs of family? What 3 things take the majority of your time are these supporting the family vision?
Across America, there is an abundance of successful individuals. What is missing? Successful families. While the practical outworking of a successful family will vary across the board, we must be wary of upholding worldly models. Our tendency, out of fear of the unknown future, is to jump into the worlds pattern for success. The role of young men in the raising of successful families cannot be too strongly emphasized. The young men were asked, Are you willing to set aside worldly ambitions? Are you willing to look different than even fellow Christians? The pressure to conform to the world will increase. A vision must be caught for 
impacting one’s siblings, their family, friends around, and generations to come. How much money is made, how many letters follow one’s name, how much knowledge is acquired, and where one lives pale in comparison with the impact had on the family and the legacy left behind for future generations.
Sometime ago, Mr. Don Staddon gave me an inspiring word picture which beautifully portrays successful individuals vs. successful families. A flash light, which we began with up above, protrudes only so far before darkness overwhelms the multiple rays emitting from the light. The farthest distance a flashlight will travel is only several hundred yards. Contrariwise, a quality laser light when pointed at the moon will reflect off the moon. Unlike the flashlight, the laser combines all rays of light into one impacting beam. 
When a family catches a vision of working together, their impact will be felt on generations to come.
May God continue to raise up successful families across our land.
Click here for an account from the annals of U.S. History of one whose light has impacted generation after generation.
Amen!
A family that works together stays together.
Thank you for this encouragment! It is a good reminder for me to continually be checking my heart to make sure that all I am doing is supporting our family’s laser light that God is develpling in us as a team.
It reminds me of the song ‘Let the Lower lights be burning’ May we let our lights burn brightly in order to draw others to the JOY of continual fellowship with our Lord! A light house is made up of many small lights but all used to perform one task!
What a privilege and a challenge to be an encouraging older brother. At our time in history it must be one of the greatest aspirations of the age! The application questions you used should be considered by every serious-minded son or daughter.
How true, Joshua! You mentioned some excellent questions that really got me thinking. The one that stood out to me the most was, “Do the three things that take up the most of my time support our family’s vision?”
Those are some excellent pictures which show you all are taking the time to cultivate those valuable relationships! You are right; this is an extremely important area of life that the world is basically ignoring. There are so many benefits to having a unified family though. May the Lord bless you all with them!
Joshua, it is definitely not natural to develop relationships between brothers in our culture. Only in our spirit can we realize that God is the one who has prescribed the members of our immediate family with a purpose in mind. It is interesting how in scripture that the relationship between the members of the body of Christ is described as “brotherly” love.
Joshua, I appreciate how you live what you preach. You really encourged me with your thoughts on how the worlds system is geared towards succesful individuals while God’s system is a succesful group called His body. The only way that group is truly succesful is when the individual dies to his own success and lives for Christ’s success. May we keep our eyes on Him. Dad
[...] Over this past weekend, the powerful truth of Isaiah 59:19b was brought to remembrance once again how that, “…When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.” Families with a passion for Jesus Christ, a recognition of their need for vision, and a desire for exhortation from like-minded believers gathered for a ‘Family Encouragement Weekend (FEW).’ The purpose of which was, “To encourage families to work together, impact their local communities, and leave a Godly legacy for the generations to come.” There are many successful individuals in our country. But what we need more than anything are successful families. [...]